The Real Reason Reason Your Progress is Taking Longer Than You’d Like
You’re codependent and that’s a problem
I hate saying this out loud, but many coaches, healers and practitioners have built codependency into their practice models. To be clear, I’m not talking about physical therapies that require consistent treatments like massage that contribute to ongoing wellbeing, but rather those of an emotional and spiritual flavour.
Many years ago when I was wanting to bring my business to the next level, I hired a spiritual business coach to support me in building my business both strategically, but also in a soulful way. At first, I felt tremendous personal growth and excitement as this person provided intuitive guidance under the guise of helping me unblock everything that was in the way of gaining success.
I was excited when this person offered a program akin to a mastermind that would connect me with other like-minded professionals; this person assured me this would further my goals and based on how good I felt after our 1-1 sessions, I trusted this was the best next step. And this is when things became a tad murky. I felt excitement once I joined this group, meeting new people was wonderful and I was eager to learn and grow even more. But the tone this practitioner took began to slowly shift in ways that were not overtly obvious until much, much later.
What was once a nurturing and encouraging relationship with this coach became one that slowly chipped away at each participants’ confidence. I realized retroactively that the group sessions were designed to publicly shame the confidence out of each of us under the guise of tough love. It got to the point where we were berated if we made decisions about our businesses independent of this coach's input because “you’re quite ignorant of what is needed in your business right now, and I know what’s best”. Major red flag. There was an implication that this coach alone had this secret connection to the universal source, and if you’ve ever watched a cult documentary, this type of behaviour will be familiar. I was in deep at that point and still had my blinders on.
You see, there is a difference between pointing out a person’s blind spots and slowly chipping away at their autonomy and confidence until they become dependent upon the leader in ways that ensure a consistent stream of income.
Not all experiences of practitioner/client codependency are as overt.
A healing or coaching session should leave you feeling like you’ve taken a step forward—whether that’s through a sense of lightness, deeper understanding, or an ability to navigate your emotions with more ease. While healing can sometimes bring up emotions that need processing in a way that is often uncomfortable, and occasionally overwhelming, the overall trajectory should be one of progress and empowerment, not dependency or confusion.
Is it getting worse before it gets better, or just worse?
Think about any practitioner of this kind that you’ve been working with; have you set out clear goals and performance metrics? Have they provided you with expectations of a timeline and pathway to achieve them? Take a moment to check in with yourself after your sessions. Are you feeling clearer, more balanced, and in control of your own healing? Or do you find yourself exhausted, drained, or waiting for your next session just to feel okay again? Your emotional and physical responses can provide powerful insight into whether your healing experience is truly serving you or creating an unhealthy reliance.
When I finally got to the point of ending my relationship with the spiritual business coach, I was in such a state of distress. I’d gained a ton of weight, my business was floundering and my confidence in my skills was in the ditch. I felt so removed from my own internal guidance system that, as a highly intuitive individual, was incredibly damaging physically, emotionally AND spiritually.
But something deep within my being rose up and screamed that something was broken and WRONG… And that something wasn’t me. I knew enough to listen to that part of myself and that’s when I reached out for my own Professional Master Clearing™. And once that clearing was completed, I was able to see the level of darkness and corruption I’d been steeping in, and broke free from that toxicity. It was at this point that I learned that not everyone operates in the light and there is far more to the dynamics in these fields than meets the eye. I was weighed down by the darkness that was coming from this coach and sticking to my auric field. I was literally being drained of my light.
That’s when I learned about the critical importance of verifying whether your practitioners are getting cleared on a regular basis.
I know that most people won’t be able to check their practitioners’ light measurement, I’ve created these simple check-ins for you to do a self-assessment of how you’re progressing with your healers and coaches.
Self-check in:
Empowered vs. Dependent: Do you feel more aware and in control of your own healing, or do you feel like you constantly need them to "fix" you?
Clarity vs. Confusion: Do you leave with a sense of clarity and insight, or do you feel foggy and more confused than before?
Relief vs. Drainage: Does your energy feel refreshed and balanced, or do you feel exhausted and drained for prolonged periods?
Emotional Processing vs. Emotional Turmoil: It’s normal to have emotions arise after deep healing, but do you feel like you're processing things constructively, or are you stuck in an emotional loop with no progress?
What is the solution?
Ask yourself these questions:
Am I actively giving my power away in my sessions?
Am I avoiding what’s necessary for real integration?
Am I looking for a quick fix rather than doing the deeper work?
Am I choosing practitioners who empower me rather than foster dependency?
Am I moving forward with this practitioner—or are they keeping me in a loop?
Most importantly: Is this healer tending to their own energy hygiene by having a consistent clearing practice, or am I carrying theirs and other clients’ unprocessed stuff when I end a session?
If you answered “yes” to questions 1 through 3, it’s time to get honest with yourself about whether you’re truly ready to put the work into making a shift, and questions 4 through 6 are a high level indicator that there are dark elements involved and a Professional Master Clearing™ is needed!
Remember, healing isn’t just about collecting experiences – it’s about allowing yourself the time to integrate the transformation that comes from them. Choose truth and depth over variety, discernment over desperation, and integration over accumulation. Choose someone who takes their energy hygiene seriously - ask them if they’ve ever had a Professional Master Clearing™ done before (and if they haven’t, they absolutely should!)
Because at the end of the day, no healer, no modality, no magic pill will ever replace the work only you can do.
And that, my friend, is the real magic. ✨
