Take the Hustle Out of The Holidays
Back in November, my youngest and I were making our traditional British Christmas pudding (yes, we make it ahead of the to-do items and vowed to keep organized to make the holidays a breeze. Best laid plans, right? There is now one week until December 25 (even less for those celebrating Channuka) and I am roughly one step further ahead than i was when I was happily steaming that pudding in November. Eek! Earlier this week, I spent a few moments in overwhelm before reminding myself that I’m not a team of one. Especially since Winter Solstice ushers in a time of connection and celebration, a time of reflection that carries into the rest of the holidays before the transition into the New Year.
Wanting to make sure I had the energy to appreciate that connection, I had a little pep-chat with myself and thought I’d share some of the helpful holiday preparation tips (that apply to most special occasions, to be perfectly honest!):
You Aren’t a Team of One
Ask for help. This is probably my biggest weakness. I forget that other people are in my sphere are ready and willing to help and I just need to ask! Before you roll your eyes at the obvious nature of that last sentence, take a moment and reflect on how many times you’ve needed support and couldn’t figure out why no one was helping you. Were you expecting people to know what it is that you needed at that time? I mean, how could they not know, right? If we use the holidays as an example, it usually unfolds the same way each year and each year you need to get the exact same things done and if you’re the one doing the things, no one else is really going to know what’s required to make that happen. Unless you tell them. And ask them to help. So just sitting there and stewing in resentment because no one knows how much work you have on your plate is really pointless. Ask.
Plan it Out
This is phase should come before asking for help, but I figured since I know so many people are stunted in the asking for help department, I put it down first. Write down everything that needs to get done between now and the big day. Everything. Groceries, schedules, gifts, people to coordinate visits with, hair and nail appointments etc. Then prioritize by importance and timeline. Once you’ve gotten everything out of your mind and out in front of you, figure out what can be done by other people. Once you’ve done that, DELEGATE. Delegating is one of the greatest gifts for everyone; most people around you are quite happy to be helpful, it makes them feel pretty good and creates more space for you to carry on. Win-win.
Perfect Doesn’t Exist
Set your expectations aside and aim for quality time over perfect experiences and gifts. Really. I think that when our kids are young (for those of us with kids), we spend lot of time trying to recreate the magic of the holidays without knowing exactly what that magic was when we were kids. Sure, there’s the Santa magic and the excitement of the gifts, but as your kids get older you begin to realize that the magic of the holidays is the pause that happens. There is a quiet after the bustle of unwrapping gifts and big meals, the quiet and the rest that we so rarely afford ourselves. Find the magic in the pause and see how many connecting and beautiful conversations begin to take place.
Don’t Over-Schedule Yourself
Social events are abundant over the holidays; if you attend everything you’ll wear yourself out. I’ve already received 6 different invitations between Christmas and New Year’s and while I would LOVE to see and visit with everyone, I also need a break. This leads to the next point.
Schedule Time For Yourself
If you’re expecting a house full of people, and hosting visitors and visiting others over a condensed period of time, you can begin to feel pretty drained, even if you love everyone you’re connecting with. Make sure you’re keeping your exercise routine if you have one, getting out for walks, locking the bathroom door and having a nice long bath. Anything that gives you the time to recharge. Have small kids? If you’ve got extra family members around, this is a perfect time to ask for them to babysit so you can head out somewhere alone while maintaining the use of BOTH hands!
There are so many other ways to allow yourself to slow down over the holidays, but start with these and notice whether you can feel the ease return. Remember that the time is about connection, reflection and casting your vision into a brand new year. The gifts and feast are bonuses.
XO Jessica