My Commitment To Anti-Racist and Decolonized Coaching
My work in the world is to help with Emotional Empowerment. During a time when emotions are running so high - with absolute reason - I've experienced a sense of overwhelm; seeing so many people in need, in pain and in anguish. Being able to retreat is a privilege that not everyone has, and I chose to regroup and be intentional of where or how I can share with the most impact. I don’t like to speak for the sake of hearing my own voice.
The past few months have been filled with so much turbulence for so many. I found myself not want to share, not because I had nothing to say, but because I have so much to say; however also didn't want to share simply for the sake of sharing, adding to the noise, adding to the chaos that I've been observing "out there" in the world. I wanted to make sure I was well-informed and well-educated before I said anything. When I observe this chaos, my tendency is to go within, to get quiet until I can see what value I can bring (if any!) to the conversation instead of adding to the noise...
In this time of reflection, I realized that I have been missing a fundamental piece in my coaching when I have been working with Black or Indigenous and other clients of colour. In my personal experience of rising above challenges and failures that have be present to me as a woman and single parent, I have felt that if we do the work, we can rise above and accomplish anything that we want. None of my (numerous) challenges have been because of the colour of my skin; I have not fully acknowledged the added obstacles that racism has presented to my BIPOC clients. I’ve noticed and been aware of it, but instead of digging deeper into it, I’ve let my fears of offending someone or saying the wrong thing keep me silent.
As a blonde blue-eyed, female, spiritually inclined coach, for a long time I felt that it was not my place to support BIPOC clients in moving through those obstacles and I still don’t have the tools to fully support this, however I see the biggest issue is the silence. I have not wanted to suppose, or impose my thoughts and assumptions on what it must be like to encounter racism, however this should not equal silence. Avoiding uncomfortable conversations only increases internal conflict.
In shifting from a coaching model that I was taught years ago steeped in “hustle, grind, go harder, more discipline” to one of alignment, growth, shadow work and deep inner transformation (downright messy at times), I now understand that what I had observed in certain clients as giving up, has likely been a byproduct of my not having the whole cultural picture. A lack of willingness to get into the tough conversations when it came to race and inequality because “what could I possibly know or do”? For all of my exploration and study of epigenetics and intergenerational trauma, I can only go as deeply with my clients as I am willing to be comfortable within my own discomfort.
My job is to uncover what lies beneath what seems to be the issue at hand, the issues that have led to each of my cherished clients’ unconscious strategies that are in place. I cannot ignore those strategies simply because I am not well enough versed in a particular situation. My coaching has grown enough in the past few years to know that the magic lies in the discomfort, it lies in the willingness to explore the places that have been closed off for so long. The world is reflecting this entire state. All the things that we, as a colonized collective, have been silent about for far, far too long are breaking out of the dark and hidden spaces, begging to be acknowledged, to be illuminated and witnessed.
I commit to proactively learning, not just lie in wait until I am called out or corrected. I am willing to keep moving past this discomfort, to stop being silent, to make the mistakes, acknowledge them and learn from them. I also share this blog so that I make my position abundantly clear. The world needs this silence and violence to end.
XO Jessica