Practice Makes Progress: Understanding Anxiety and How to Move Through It
I started writing this with a specific memory of what I thought was my first anxiety attack when all of a sudden I remembered a different time from earlier in my life, but I’m inclined to share my starting point nonetheless to help show how this can occur in my sessions with clients – you come in thinking one event is the genesis of the issue, when really it’s much earlier and usually lurking somewhere in the unconscious, waiting for something to unlock it.
I don’t consider myself to be a sufferer of anxiety at least not in the traditional sense, the way I’ve seen it impact many of my clients and some family members; however, when people would describe anxiety attacks to me, a particular memory would pop into my awareness from when I was pregnant with my first-born. I was working long hours as a waitress, my husband at the time had just moved across the country to join me and hadn’t found work yet, and we had just moved into a tiny apartment. I felt pretty happy during that time; I was in love, expecting a baby and settling into my new nest.
We were at the fun stage of unpacking where you’re more in decoration mode than functionally finding places for the useful stuff when I suddenly felt my heart rate increase and my ability to breathe was compromised, my body tensed and while I felt like I needed serious help, I was unable to speak or ask for it. At the time, I assumed it was related to the pregnancy and I honestly can’t recall whether I brought it up with my midwife or not, but I simply went to the bedroom, lay down and waited it out. I never stopped to ask myself what might be triggering this state, I was 22 at the time and not even close to welcoming deeper messages from my emotions.
As I write this, I’m remembering the physical sensations that were taking place in my body and the recesses of my memory are calling me back to another time, as a teenager. I haven’t thought of this in ages, probably since the actual event. I was a leader in training at a summer camp and I can remember beginning to hyperventilate, feeling my lips begin to tingle and my hands begin to spasm (think T-Rex hands) which freaked me out and made me hyperventilate more and so it became a bit of a vicious cycle – I was having a panic attack! A couple of the camp counsellors were called to help, I was brought to the infirmary and I don’t know specifically what stopped it, only that it was quite frightening and later on I was made fun of by the two counsellors that came to help – they would make T-Rex hands at me for a couple of days after the incident, which embarrassed me, but I’d built pretty strong armour against mockery at that point so if it was bothering me, no one was going to know about it and I laughed it off along with everyone else.
(Yes, that’s a lot to unpack in one paragraph and this is why I have my own coach and therapist, thank you 😁 ).
Anyway, where was I?
Oh yes, ANXIETY! Those are my first memories of my own expression of anxiety, and I carried on thinking it wasn’t really a big deal and for me or something that required major intervention, however, I’ve come to learn that anxiety can manifest itself in many different ways and if you read through this list and think “well I guess everyone has anxiety”, then you’re not far off base. The thing is that it shows up at different intensities for different people and all at varying degrees.
The five major types of anxiety disorders
Generalized Anxiety Disorder
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
Panic Disorder
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
Social Phobia (or Social Anxiety Disorder)
I personally have PTSD that manifests with high-functioning anxiety, the type of anxiety you’ll find in many Type-A folks. We tend to not know that we have anxiety because as the label implies, we are, ermmm... high-functioning.
Some signs of high-functioning anxiety include:
Constantly overthinking and overanalyzing
Excessive worrying
Striving for perfection
Insomnia
Trouble relaxing.
Fear of failure
Trouble expressing emotions
Fatigue
Anxiety is a normal part of life, however, it becomes a problem when it becomes overactive.
From a physiological perspective, people with anxiety disorders often show heightened amygdala response to anxiety cues. The amygdala, located deep inside the brain, is part of the emotional brain. Theoretically, we only feel anxiety when signals from the emotional brain overpower the cognitive brain, and into our consciousness. Using the cognitive brain, you can rationalize that snakes are rare in the woods (unless you’re in Australia) and so the cognitive brain network overtakes and tames the emotional fear network. For people with anxiety amygdala (amongst other brain regions) ramp up their chatter, producing palpable anxiety that overrides the cognitive brain.
In the short term, a person experiencing anxiety might notice an increase in their breathing and heart rate, concentrating blood flow to their brain, where they need it. This very physical response is preparing them to face an intense situation. People with anxiety may also be at an increased risk of high blood pressure and heart disease.
Getting present
One of the simplest tools to help with anxiety is getting present. Getting present is the act of bringing yourself back into your body, back to the present moment and what is happening around you NOW.
I acknowledge that it takes practice to be able to remember this tool when in the midst of an anxiety attack, especially when you’re just beginning to learn about how your system protects itself, however, it can be done; practice makes progress.
The easiest way to get present is to shift your attention to your breath. Deep breathing calms you down and can help regulate your heart rate. There are many breathing techniques; box breathing, 4-7-8 breathing etc., but in the beginning, simply shifting your awareness to your breath, even if you’re hyperventilating, and surrendering to conscious awareness of HOW you are breathing allows you to begin to slow it down, focusing on the inhale and exhale and how your breath feels going in through the nose and out through the mouth. That presence pulls you out of the anxiety that is spiralling in your mind firing through the amygdala.
The biggest thing to remember with anxiety is that you’re not a victim to it; yes it can happen out of the blue, but it doesn’t indicate weakness. It indicates deep sensitivity, and in the world today, I see this as a superpower.
If you offer yourself patience and compassion to learn what triggers you, then you can begin to reclaim your sovereignty over it. This won’t eliminate it completely, as I mentioned earlier, it’s a normal part of life, however over time, you can cultivate awareness around these triggers and learn to lean into different ways of being with it.
The first step is being willing to explore more deeply into what these triggers and shadows are, which in itself can be a triggering experience when it comes to anxiety disorders. Having someone safe and secure guide you through this work is key.